If you are like me, it feels like this summer has flown by. For some, this might be a relief. More you time, less sibling rivalry, etc. However, we have to consider that going back to school is a process for both parents/guardians and students. As the parents or guardians of a student, we have to be mindful of some of the victories as well as the challenges that may be faced. The obvious victories are seeing familiar faces, sharing summer stories and showing off new clothes. The challenges can be a little more complicated.
Mental Health
Often times, we overlook the mental health of both ourselves and our students. Everyone is trying to readjust to their sleep schedules, to get organized and to prepare themselves for another school year. Please be kind to each other! One of the biggest challenges of returning to school is our mental health. Face it, kids are glued to their screens. Virtual learning has only increased the amount of time spent online. With that comes things like bullying, misinformation, violent content, judging each other and an overall sense of either inclusion or, worse yet, exclusion.
As a parent or guardian, you do not have to try to “understand” how the online space and social media plays a part in your child’s mental health. What they need is for you to listen to them. Social media has become complicated. There are challenges (fun, funky and dangerous) and there is more pressure for kids to get the most likes or to “go viral.” It may seem irrelevant to you, but this is what your child is living with. Classmates can be cruel because someone is not wearing the most popular brand or not enough makeup. They may judge each other because they gained or lost a few pounds. Social media has not helped this be any easier. Influencers are constantly using filters and makeup to appear perfect and presenting it as reality. The reality is that most people will never look like those computer-generated images. And that’s ok!.
Teach your children to love themselves and to accept that not everyone will like them. Help them to explore hobbies and interests (safely!) with like-minded individuals in their age groups. If your child is experiencing bullying, then have those discussions. Check your school’s policies and see if you should set up a meeting with the teacher or the principal. But please understand that the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is real to your child. You can always set parental controls and limit screen time if the virtual world is negatively impacting your child.
Studies have shown that the increase in screen time has also led to an increase in conditions like anxiety and depression. These are very real medical conditions that require professional help to work through
Changing Our Brains?
I know it sounds funny but hear me out. Studies have been conducted that demonstrate how screen time truly can change our brains. It can either help us do more by having a plethora of resources at our fingertips or it can become our biggest distraction and time sucker. It is so easy to get lost in an endless stream of notifications, emails, social media posts and YouTube videos. And while monitored online use can give us that dopamine rush, it can work against us. Too much time online results in the inability to enjoy non-tech related activities that we may have enjoyed before. Hobbies and after school activities fall to the wayside, the laundry piles up, etc.
One of the most important things that can happen is the delay in development of social and emotional learning. Children need face-to-face interaction in order to adapt to social environments. They need to learn to share and to clean up after themselves. Online, none of this is shown. If your child is watching toy unboxing videos, they are not getting any of that interaction. When children are engaging with their peers in person, they are learning how to build and sustain relationships, how to act appropriately in different environments and how to learn from their behavior. Learning to share, not interrupting, being kind, etc. are lost.
The internet is not teaching this. In fact, social media popularity relies on being outrageous and shocking. Those knee-jerk reactions equal more likes. Videos are carefully edited to show the action, but not necessarily the consequences of behavior. As parents and guardians, we have to help our children to understand this. Limiting screen time may feel like a punishment, but in the long run, it is what is best for your children. Besides, all of that blue light from screens can interrupt sleep patterns. This can result in your child not focusing at school, putting off important obligations and mood swings.
How Can I Help Get My Child Ready For Back To School Season?
You can help your child by:
1) Make the time to go over school supply lists, bus routes, emergency contacts, etc.
2) Monitor your child’s screentime and limit it if you see changes in your child
3) Consider using parental controls to help your child avoid inappropriate sites
4) Encourage your child to question what they see online
5) Be available to talk to your child about content that is disturbing to them
6) Be involved in your child’s life. Do not let the screen become their only connection
7) Reach out if you are unsure of how to help your child with their online activity
8) Set a sleep schedule for your child and stick to it
9) Consider keeping all electronics in a place that is not accessible to your child at night
I am also going to include a really useful toolkit from MHA (Mental Health America.) There are useful PDFs that talk about screen time, how to protect your child online, etc. There is also a PDF that can help your child explore why they are comparing themselves to others.
Routines
I mentioned earlier that getting back on sleep schedules and worrying about bus routes are also a part of back-to-school activities. Each household will look different. Single parents are already juggling a lot with work, bills, etc. Make sure to stop and take a moment to go over everything that your child will need for the upcoming school year. Come up with a safety plan in the case of an emergency. This should include who to call or whose house your child should go to if you are running late or if they have an early release day. It should include phone numbers and addresses and be stored somewhere that your child will not lose it. If your child has a phone, consider using the Notes feature or Emergency Contacts.
Double check that your child has lunch money if they have to buy their lunches. Make sure that your kitchen is stocked with what is needed if they are packing lunches. Consider healthier snacks to help your child focus and not be too full to enjoy dinner. Limit caffeine intake after a certain time so that your child can get a good night’s sleep and be prepared for the long days ahead.
One of the most important things that you can do for your child is to help them with homework. Not just with the assignments but with creating an environment that increases their chances of success. Schools have tutors available. Find out who they are and make a list. Look for online educational videos like Khan Academy or Crash Course on YouTube. Some teachers have office hours to help students who are struggling.
At home, make sure that your child has a quiet place to do their homework where they will not be distracted or overwhelmed by siblings, pets, tv, noise, etc. Try to teach younger children not to interrupt their siblings when it is time to do homework. Encourage them to lower their voice and help them find activities that are not disruptive.
If your children are older, start talking to them about college, trade schools, etc. Consider setting up an appointment with a college’s Academic Advisor. They can go over how Financial Aid works, housing, costs, etc. Truly, this was one of the things that I wish I had had when I was younger. My mom was under the impression that you had to pay for college, therefore, I thought I was unable to go. Now, after completing my Associaite’s and going on for my Bachelor’s, I have realized how easy Financial Aid can be. Let your child hear from the college how things work.
Encourage after school activities if you can afford them and can commit to or arrange for reliable transportation. Try to find ways that your child can avoid screentime and replace it with healthier behaviors that encourage social interaction in person.
Last but not least, if you feel as though you need clarification about school policies, supply lists or anything else, you have options. I always encourage parents to reach out directly to the school for things like supplies, bus routes, etc. Local pages can have good insight into things like teacher expectations, school closings, etc. Utilize resources that can help your child succeed. Remember that you are not alone!
Resources:
https://mhanational.org/sites/default/files/back-to-school/2023/downloads/Dos-of-Social-Media.pdf